Kicking Knowledge

Ok in case you missed it last night on ABC Primetime here is the LINK

According to this story there is a large number of dumbasses out there who want to purchase a monkey and consider them a human baby?  The thought would never have crossed my mind had I not seen this show.  Ok, I admit sometimes monkeys can be cute when they do cute little monkey things like piss and shit on each other.  But to have one as a pet (cough, cough) I mean baby it’s just plain disturbing.

You see people buy these Capuchin monkeys for between $5-$8k each and then proceed to try and raise them like a human child.  They bath them, cloth them and read them bedtime stories with the hope that the monkey will love and respect them for it.  But what really happens is, most owners end up pulling out the monkeys teeth and cutting off it’s fingers.

You might be asking why would a mother of father do this to their child…errrr…I mean monkey?

Well it turns out that monkeys bite and climb on things? I mean who would have thought that a monkey being a primate from the jungle would bite, scratch, climb on anything in sight, piss and shit all over and just make an all around mess of things.  Oh yeah not to mention they will turn on you in a second for no apparent reason.  Well maybe they turn on their owners because they were ripped away from their mother at the ripe old age of 2-3 weeks old…

Now I understand someone being lonely and wanting a companion to be with.  Hell, I can even understand someone owning a cat, but not a monkey.  Monkey’s should be left in the jungle or maybe a zoo.

“Earth to highly disturbed person who is considering owning a monkey…Don’t Do It”…go buy a nice dog or fish or something.

Am I the only one who thinks this is disturbing?

Big fat short work week this week.  I love the 4th of July.  I love to blow shit up and think about our great history and the revolution we had.  It makes me smile when I think about how we’ve given away all our freedom and civil liberties so we can be safe from terror.  Boy, I bet if George Washington were alive today he would say….

….So long Fuckers

Fight the Power

Robutt Deniro

As you may have figured out by my title I just got done watching the first episode of ABC’s new hit Wipeout on my Tivo.  I have to say if this show gets cancelled then I will have lost all hope for american TV.  If you missed it, it’s a blend of MXC, American Gladiator, and the greatest show on TV, Ninja Warrior.  I’m not going to try to explaian the whole show to you, I’m just going to say if you like watching stupid people fucking themselves up as much as I do, then this is the show for you.  I love nothing more than watching shows like Maximum Exposure and Americas funniest home videos and watching some dolt almost kill himself with his lack of brains.  We need more of this on TV.  I think MTV should get rid of all the reality gay shit and replace it with drunk spring breakers running a gauntlet of pain.  The ratings will sky rocket.  Everyday I go to digg and see someone almost dying in the top 10 diggs but no one is smart enough to put more of this on TV?  Forget amazing races.  Forget survivor shows.  Forget everything you know about TV.  More stupid people hurting themselves NOW please.  I want thank ABC for having the guts to put Wipeout on TV and let them know that I now have 2 ABC shows on my tivo list.  In closing, watch this show.  You won’t be sorry.  If for some reason you don’t like it, go tell someone who gives a shit.

So long Fuckers

Fight the Power

Robutt Deniro

Ok, usually I can’t read shit without my glasses but this just jumped out at me.

Read the FULL STORY HERE

I’m sick of this nicey, nice bullshit that is running rampant in our society today.  This dirt bag should be run up a flag pole and hung.  But before that, let everyone in jail rape him dry first.

You see, there are certain people in society that do not deserve to live and this dolt is one of them.

However, in “today’s society” we need to try and help everyone, because everyone has the same rights and freedoms and we need to understand why they did something and blah, blah, blah…bullshit…I say F all that crap.

I’ll admit I’m not a big fan of the south, it’s hot, humid, quite a few places have little to no culture and despite what they think the war really is over.  But I have to hand it to Louisiana statutes that allow a rapist like this to be put down.  Maybe I should rethink the way I feel about the south because I think they made the right call on this one.

As most of you know I am never wrong, therefore, what will happen is this turd will be released from jail and do it again.  Than everyone will be up in arms complaining about him being released, the tax payers will pick up the bill and another innocent child’s life will be ruined.  Why even go through all of that when Louisiana had the solution the first time?

I’m thinking a bullet is cheaper on the tax payers then a re-trial…

Legend George Carlin died yesterday and I wept like a little girl.  This guy was a legend in the comedy world and one of my personal favorites.  He will forever be missed and I will never forget his famous line “Fuck, those fucking fuckers”

More info HERE

George, I’ll drink one for you…

So on Saturday we went golfing at Southridge.  Jedi pissed on himself, Robutt got pissed and I got pissed drunk and along the way we came up with a new golf scoring system.

See the videos and pictures attached along with now what is referred to as the

The Kicking Knowledge Golf Scoring System:

Awesome, good and no good are based on consensus of your party.

• Awesome - plus 5
• Good - zero points
• No Good - negative 5
• Lost Ball entire score x 2
• Fuck You Next Hole (buy everyone a round of drinks)
• Add up all holes played
• Divide entire score by the number of drink consumed
• Player closest to zero wins
• Bonus - Ball stuck in tree gets you automatic zero for entire round

Basically the better you are at golf the more you have to drink to have any chance at winning.

Disclaimer: No animals were hurt doing the creation of this scoring system, if you are a recovering alcoholic just divide by the numbers of beers you would have drank, we at Kicking Knowledge are not responsible for any damaged golf carts, golf clubs, golf balls or beer chics.

Jedi Swayze says “Don’t cross the strings…”

Barack teeing off from hole 2

Robutt teeing off from hole 2

Jedi teeing off from hole 2

This is where me and Jedi un-hitched Robutt and Mevy’s clubs before they pulled off.  Classic golf trick and funny as shit.  Robutt didn’t seem to think so though…see next video

Robutt getting pissed because Mevy’s clubs fell off the cart.

This is where Jedi did a swoop and grab on the stray golf ball as I was driving.  What you don’t see is me almost driving us off into a water trap right after.