Do you hate to get terrible service when you go out to dinner? I know I do. You see there are certain people who shouldn’t do certain jobs. Less than average size people shouldn’t be firemen, paraplegics should not be rescue swimmers and anyone with missing fingers shouldn’t be handling meat. Now I am a firm believer in equal rights (to a certain extent) but not equal pay, if you suck at your job you shouldn’t be doing it…let me explain…
One might say I am a tad bit critical because I grow up in the restaurant business. My family owned several restaurants and I either worked in the kitchen or as a waiter for a good portion of my teens and early twenties. This growing up in the restaurant business makes me an “authority” in the ways of waiting tables and how waiters and waitresses should conduct themselves. Now before I get too much into this I want to say that this post is not targeted to the waiters/waitresses who actually know what is going on. If you are reading this you know who you are, you are the ones always helping out and getting your less coordinated co-workers out of the weeds, you are the ones always being stopped by other tables and asked for something they have been waiting for and you are the ones who make good money waiting tables. See, I actually respect and admire a good waiter or waitresses because it takes talent to make someone’s dining experience enjoyable.
Ok, for the other less fortunate waiters out there who really shouldn’t be even around food, people or public places here goes…
If any of this sounds familiar you more than likely should not be waiting tables and should seek another career like flipping burgers at Taco Bell.
- If you need to run to the kitchen and ask what the soup of the day is, go fill out an application at Taco Bell.
- If you don’t know what the kitchen is out of then you need to head on over to Dairy Queen and get me a cherry dip. The “86 Board” isn’t the big secret you think it is, so fucking open your fat eyes and read the damn thing.
- If you walk by my table to go have a smoke in the back and leave dirty dishes and empty glasses in my way of having a good time you need to have your legs broken.
- If you come to the table and ask me how everything is when I’m chewing my food you need to have your eyes checked.
- If I have to ask for something more than once than you need to have your head examined or maybe start taking some of the pills to help you remember shit.
- And finally if you are just walking around randomly looking confused because two, three tops are just way too much to comprehend then maybe you can get in over at McDonalds, they still need help making fries Corky.
Bitter maybe, angry yes. I grow up in a time when waiting tables was a profession and when you went out to eat it was actually enjoyable. Today these so called “pseudo waiters” are ruining the casual dining experience for most of us hard working Americans. Getting rid of bad waiters and waitresses is as easy as not tipping.
If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times “if you can’t handle the heat, you should just end it now”
