Kicking Knowledge

Ok in case you missed it last night on ABC Primetime here is the LINK

According to this story there is a large number of dumbasses out there who want to purchase a monkey and consider them a human baby?  The thought would never have crossed my mind had I not seen this show.  Ok, I admit sometimes monkeys can be cute when they do cute little monkey things like piss and shit on each other.  But to have one as a pet (cough, cough) I mean baby it’s just plain disturbing.

You see people buy these Capuchin monkeys for between $5-$8k each and then proceed to try and raise them like a human child.  They bath them, cloth them and read them bedtime stories with the hope that the monkey will love and respect them for it.  But what really happens is, most owners end up pulling out the monkeys teeth and cutting off it’s fingers.

You might be asking why would a mother of father do this to their child…errrr…I mean monkey?

Well it turns out that monkeys bite and climb on things? I mean who would have thought that a monkey being a primate from the jungle would bite, scratch, climb on anything in sight, piss and shit all over and just make an all around mess of things.  Oh yeah not to mention they will turn on you in a second for no apparent reason.  Well maybe they turn on their owners because they were ripped away from their mother at the ripe old age of 2-3 weeks old…

Now I understand someone being lonely and wanting a companion to be with.  Hell, I can even understand someone owning a cat, but not a monkey.  Monkey’s should be left in the jungle or maybe a zoo.

“Earth to highly disturbed person who is considering owning a monkey…Don’t Do It”…go buy a nice dog or fish or something.

Am I the only one who thinks this is disturbing?

Big fat short work week this week.  I love the 4th of July.  I love to blow shit up and think about our great history and the revolution we had.  It makes me smile when I think about how we’ve given away all our freedom and civil liberties so we can be safe from terror.  Boy, I bet if George Washington were alive today he would say….

….So long Fuckers

Fight the Power

Robutt Deniro

As you may have figured out by my title I just got done watching the first episode of ABC’s new hit Wipeout on my Tivo.  I have to say if this show gets cancelled then I will have lost all hope for american TV.  If you missed it, it’s a blend of MXC, American Gladiator, and the greatest show on TV, Ninja Warrior.  I’m not going to try to explaian the whole show to you, I’m just going to say if you like watching stupid people fucking themselves up as much as I do, then this is the show for you.  I love nothing more than watching shows like Maximum Exposure and Americas funniest home videos and watching some dolt almost kill himself with his lack of brains.  We need more of this on TV.  I think MTV should get rid of all the reality gay shit and replace it with drunk spring breakers running a gauntlet of pain.  The ratings will sky rocket.  Everyday I go to digg and see someone almost dying in the top 10 diggs but no one is smart enough to put more of this on TV?  Forget amazing races.  Forget survivor shows.  Forget everything you know about TV.  More stupid people hurting themselves NOW please.  I want thank ABC for having the guts to put Wipeout on TV and let them know that I now have 2 ABC shows on my tivo list.  In closing, watch this show.  You won’t be sorry.  If for some reason you don’t like it, go tell someone who gives a shit.

So long Fuckers

Fight the Power

Robutt Deniro

Ok, usually I can’t read shit without my glasses but this just jumped out at me.

Read the FULL STORY HERE

I’m sick of this nicey, nice bullshit that is running rampant in our society today.  This dirt bag should be run up a flag pole and hung.  But before that, let everyone in jail rape him dry first.

You see, there are certain people in society that do not deserve to live and this dolt is one of them.

However, in “today’s society” we need to try and help everyone, because everyone has the same rights and freedoms and we need to understand why they did something and blah, blah, blah…bullshit…I say F all that crap.

I’ll admit I’m not a big fan of the south, it’s hot, humid, quite a few places have little to no culture and despite what they think the war really is over.  But I have to hand it to Louisiana statutes that allow a rapist like this to be put down.  Maybe I should rethink the way I feel about the south because I think they made the right call on this one.

As most of you know I am never wrong, therefore, what will happen is this turd will be released from jail and do it again.  Than everyone will be up in arms complaining about him being released, the tax payers will pick up the bill and another innocent child’s life will be ruined.  Why even go through all of that when Louisiana had the solution the first time?

I’m thinking a bullet is cheaper on the tax payers then a re-trial…

Legend George Carlin died yesterday and I wept like a little girl.  This guy was a legend in the comedy world and one of my personal favorites.  He will forever be missed and I will never forget his famous line “Fuck, those fucking fuckers”

More info HERE

George, I’ll drink one for you…

I want to start off by saying that I love video games.  For the most part I think they are great but, there seems to be a trend happening in video games that makes me want to put a stick in my eye.  The trend I speak of, is trying to make games “Ultra Realistic”.  Why the hell would you want to do that?  If I want something real I’ll go play in traffic.  When I play video games I want to do things I can’t do or get away with in real life.  I want big explosions, ruthless violence, huge car crashes, and completely unrealistic physics.  I don’t want to have to worry about my stamina level, my fuel gauge, or trying to pick a balanced weapon that can only hold a certain number bullets.  Gran Turismo and Metal Gear Solid 3 are perfect of examples of what I’m talking about.  Don’t get me wrong they are both finely produced games but, they try way too hard to be “Super realistic.”  I don’t want to race a Honda Civic around a track for days on end only to have to keep “pimping it out” like I’m some Jerk-off from the Fast and the Furious or some dolt who pops my hood up and chills at the Taco Bell parking lot.  I want the damn Dodge Viper or any other car that I can’t afford.  Then I want to jump the damn thing over 18 busses and into a bag full of kittens.  I don’t want to worry about whether my camoflauge matches the “Deep Jungle Area” that I’m running through or if I have enough anti-septic and bandages to make sure I survive.  Just put a damn health vile under a rock to heal me and give me gun that in no way can exist in the real world to blow out the ass-end of anything that gets in my way.  You may say “Well Jedi Swayze, what about sports games?”  Well, most of us tried NFL Blitz and yes I agree completely with the rest of you, We’ve all taken dumps better than that piece of crap but, let’s think about NBA Jam.  Anyone who says that a “NBA simulation” game is better than a NBA Jam type game is just saying to piss you off or just took some deep breathes into a bag of rubber cement.  So game developers let’s keep the body count high and arcade style game play and keep the realism where it should be, not in video games.

This is the place where I stop giving a Shit.

Jedi Swayze